MISTAKE!!!

Oh NO HE DIDN'T!!

Yeah, i pretty much fucked up my own blog. I was trying to put in a new youtube, and i accidentally deleted a bit of code. I would get the code back, if i had made a backup on my computer. Lesson learnt. No tears shall be shed though, i was planning on making a new template sometime soon anyway. Soon as i finish my manga i'll get right to it! (I finished the entire sketch, i just have to ink, scan and touch up!

So here is the youtube i wanted to share!



Its from an episode of Konjiki no Gash Bell! (Gash bell the Golden) and this one scene from this one episode (episode 105) washes away all doubt as to why i still watch Gash Bell. This is the greatest song on ear- no, this is the greatest song in the UNIVERSE! This song makes me feel so pumped up! I sing it when i take showers, and i accidentally punched the wall when i was singing the first line and i think i hurt myself.

For those who don't know anything about Konjiki no Gash Bell! (shame, shame on you and all your ancestors) KnGB is about a demon named Gash Bell (O_o) on his various adventures with Takamine Kiyomaro to defeat all the other 100 demons and their partners, so that he can become the king of the demonic world (hell). Yes, that boy wants to be satan. I guess. Well of course the american version of the anime (Zatch Bell) is about a demon named Zatch Bell (-_-) on his various adventures to defeat the 100 "mamodos" so that he can become king of the "mamodo" world.

Gash bell has a surprisingly high number of songs about breast groping ("Chichi Moge", literally translated as Breast grope") for a show whose target audience is kids between the ages of 6-12. (*nervous sweating*) The show also frequently shows Gash naked, with his little penis. (OH so NOW i've got Terence interested). Gash's American counterpart Zatch is alot more conservative in comparison, he prefers to wear boxers in all of the scenes where Gash is showing his little elephant trunk. This is all good and well, except in one scene Zatch is wearing a pair of boxers, and holding up a pair of boxers like hes gonna put them on. Weird? Hell/Mamodo world yeah!

Anyway, Gash faces alot of tough adversaries throughout his journeys, including my favourite villain, VICTOREEM. Victoreem has his own song. I don't know the title, but i refer to it as the "Very Melon" Song! Victoreem however was defeated earlier in the series.

Victoreem was such a popular villain, that even when he was sent back to hell, many readers/ viewers wrote in and asked for the creator to bring back Victoreem sama. So he got his own special episode. Here is a snippet of said episode. The Q&A segment with Victoreem makes me laugh no matter how many times i watch this.





That's all i have to say for now. I shall write moar later. Till then i leave you with the 3rd opening of Gash Bell, "Mienai Tsubasa" (Wings that cant be seen) And i hope that you will learn to love Gash Bell too!

Dream diary

You know, i had the weirdest dream last night. You know that most dreams are forgotten within 5 minutes of waking up? (Thaaank youu, Big book of useless facts) Anyway, it's been nearly 10 hours or moar so i guess since i still remember it, there has got to be something more to it.

So in my dream, it starts out pretty normally. I'm back in Secondary school, and its PE time, and NAPFA is coming up so teacher asks us to do a 2.4km run. Well of course this does not sit well with me, and i run (ironically) away (not like a little girl, like, all manly) from the track. Of course, a teacher pursues, but i cleverly hide in the girl's toilet. Then for some reason, the janitor, who is a black guy (im not being racist, its just a weird dream), comes in and i go hide in a cubicle. However, he catches me (that part was scawwie ;_;) and for some reason i am stripped to nothing but my underwear. Now i am in my underwear and he is bringing me to the principal's office. I forgot how, but somehow i bribe him, and escape, with my clothes.

Now part 2 starts. This is the part of the dream i like. There's this kid in the school named Freddy (see i even remember his name) Of course, Freddy is a fictional character. Anyway Freddy is a moron, he laughs when i tell my art teacher i want to be the world's greatest artist. And he eats something i made in Home Economics. So i take revenge on Freddy. I forget how, but i set up Freddy, the Black Janitor catches Freddy, and Freddy gets expelled. LOL.

I don't get what this dream means at all. What is the symbolism of the Black Janitor? I guess sometimes a dream is just a dream. Well, it beats sleepwalking.

19 pages of my manga drawn, i guess my total project progress is... 40%? Still alot of work to be done. Soon as i do some scanning i'll post the pics up 'ere :) Look forward to it!

Big Punching game rematch this Friday... I'm training by wearing 10kg weights on my arms at all times. Jab jab... jab jab jab HOOK UPPER!!! Prepare to die, Daryl!

To wrap up the post, thanks ter for the song. It makes for easy listening.

She was... an American Girl!

(click picture to enlarge)


Coicoi sent me this pic long ago. Back when phones did not have video capabilities. Or cameras. When a phone was a GODDAMN PHONE, NOT SOME FREAK GOD FORSAKEN HYBRID MONSTROSITY.

Anyway, this picture captures the subtlety of showing off when you feel cornered by someone who is trying to show off to you. It requires precise timing, and well-timed precision to unleash. Here is an example.

Coicoi issued me a challenge with his MSN nick which reads "DISTINCTIONS!! IN YOUR FACE!" I assume he is referring to his school results, although I don't know whose face he is referring to, and it's abit hard for me to bring my face to his level, what with the obvious height difference, but i wont back down from a challenge!



EHH?! EHHH?! WHO'S YA DADDY NOW HUH! WHOS YA DADDY! WHOS YA DADDY! That's 5 BILLION BITCH! CAN'T DO THAT CAN YA! YOUR DISTINCTIONS HAVE NO POWER HERE!

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm

Anyone who wishes to try and break my high score can do so here! If you do break it, post a screenshot!


That's all i had to say i guess.

*insert dramatic exit phrase here*

The innocent will never last

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!!!

Lulz, 2nd time doing this post because my internet went flat on me the moment i hit the 'publish' button on my last attempt. Coincidence? I think not. The only logical explanation is that this post contains the TRUTH BEHIND THE CONSPIRACIES, AND THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO STOP THIS FROM GETTING OUT!

Anyway, what is this big fascinating truth?

What is my big sweeping statement!

*drum roll*

*swiss roll*

MY NAME IS TWANG KUANYI, AND I AM A JACKASS!

....

.....lol wut.

Okay anyway this post is all about how big a jackass i am! Some of you forget the magnitude of my jackass-ness! Even when it is clearly listed on the Kuanyi trading card (also available in foil and hologram) that my nature is jackass, my elemental type is jackass, and to summon me you require 3 lesser jackass monsters as a sacrifice!

Anyway, the internet is a great place to be a jackass. Although you can't see the person actually getting pissed off in the flesh, you remain anonymous, and you are untouchable!

Take for instance, exhibit A, i like to call her Stacy. And i'd like to believe she is between the ages of 16-18.

Stacy is a regular user of www.sketchswap.com, a simple site with a simple premise. You draw a picture, you submit it, and somewhere around the world someone's picture is sent to you. Stacy worked hard on her picture. It was a cute picture. Here it is.


Stacy was proud of her hard work, and she pressed the submit button, eagerly awaiting the masterpiece she would get in return.

This is what stacy found.




Exhibit 2: #zinc nuisance

While waiting for dota games in #zinc, i enjoy lurking and watching teh n00bs having pointless arguments about gaming. But occasionally, a level of idiocy in the channel is reached, and i have to put the caps lock in cruise control, and emerge to put a stop to the faggotry.

Case 1: The case of the fake internet identity ( i didn't save the chat log for this one, but this is how it goes:)

Female #zinc admin (Name withheld): Do you guys think i'm cute?
Manwhore #1:Totally!
Manwhore #2: You are so cute ^_^
Me: WTF Oh PLEASE guys come on its so obvious "she" is a dude with a dick, no real girls on the internet!

At this point roughly 20 angry men turned on me, defending their gaming "goddess", as i sat in my chair, chugging an ice cold ice cream soda and enjoying many a lulz. Eventually they kicked me out of the channel and i enjoyed a 30min ban :)

Case 2: The BoA whore

So the host of this DotA game i was playing was being a total fanboy/whore.

[Name Withheld]: BoA is my idol!
Me: BoA is my wife!

2 seconds later i got kicked out of the DotA room. I was rofl'ing so hard, so i went to IRC to spam about what a retard the host was and to share my extremely funny story. Soon someone private msged me in the channel:


Any problem, come find me.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OH ITS YOU
thanks man that made my day
why don't you go bang a wall.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!
haha... ohh boy
dude cool it man
its a joke
its funny
well to me it is anyway HAHAHA
i dont mind getting kicked, totally worth it
it isn't
tard.
LOLOL
not to you!
see as you indulge in pointless namecalling
im lol'ing in my chair
so hard i think tears are coming out
yes yes just shut the FUCK up
LOLOL
hey you started the conversation
anyway as you keep scolding me i just keep laughing harder. Your resistance only makes this funnier for me!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
oh yeah it's funny alright
when i fucking burst your brain it's gonna be funnier
HAHAHAHHAA


AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! Seriously, what a retard. It's as if i insulted his mom or his girlfriend or something, and he gives this serious "BoA is mine" stalker vibe. Then he goes on to threathen to kill me. LOLOL. I was playing at noon on a sunday, so i bet it was some 12 year old who tricked his mom by saying he had a fever and wanted to skip school.

At any rate, thanks to all the people who kinda forced me to blog. I thought no human dared to desecrate my sacred grove, but i was wrong. And i am glad to be proven wrong :)

IM GONNA HAVE TO PRESS THE SUBMIT NOW, THE GOVERNMENT CAN'T SILENCE ME FOREV




You know, pretending i was assasinated mid post is fun and all, but i have a short P.S: Well done Val for trying your best at the audition! Im really proud of you! I will laugh at retards, and little girls who i like to imagine are named stacy, but i'll never laugh at anyone who is serious about their dream! Unless.. your dream is to be a comedian. Then you put me in an awkward situation.

Well okay that i guess concludes my P.S. Now where was i? Oh yes i wa

DUMBASSES!!!

DUM-DUM-DUMBASSES!!!
They are real yano, dumbasses.
The scariest thing is, it's very rare to distinguish them from regular people.
Until they crawl up your butt, latch onto your brain, and make you regret starting a conversation with them.

Anyway, this past week has been a very eventful one. I've been trying out many new interesting things!

1)Eating chips on my bed while watching My HiME on my laptop.
2)Drinking coke on my bed while watching NHK ni Youkoso! on my laptop.
3)Eating Fate/Stay Night on my bed while watching Doritos LOL WUT

Ok, fine. I do more than that. But it's mostly drawing. And i admit i have been neglecting my blog. I'm not bored of it, i'm not gonna stop blogging because i can't afford to keep these feelings bottled up... not... anymore...

There are things i have to say, things that need to be said, and too many feelings to convey.

Anyway I have learnt alot of life lessons from watching NHK ni Youkoso!




HAHAHA, HE GOT CAUGHT.

Anyway yes, let's have a better picture of the characters.



Yeah yeah! Okok now i shall write a short synopsis. Satou Tatsuhiro (Tat-chan) is a Hikikomori (dunno if i spelt that right) which means he is an unemployed, uneducated loser who is afraid to leave his house. He has been living as a Hikikomori for 3 years when suddenly the super duper cute Nakahara Misaki comes to rescue him from his Hikikomori lifestyle. The show addresses the dark side of japanese urban cultures, like group suicides, otaku-ness, galges, online games, Multi-Level Marketing scams etc. If you have no idea what the above terms mean come ask me on msn or go watch the show yourself!

Anyway, those aren't the lessons! The most important lesson hit me when i was lying down, facing the ceiling and unable to stand because i hadn't gotten out of bed for more than 10 hours.

Satou kun is a failure at life! The hugest, biggest possible loser! A hikikomori who makes erotic games, smokes, takes pedo pictures, tries to commit suicide, gets addicted to online games etc. HE FAILS SO HARD AT LIFE i slap my forehead everytime he fails further. And yet he has a cute girl to help him every step of the way!

So i realised what i've been doing wrong all along.

I've been trying to be good, to appear nice, friendly, and funny.

BUT NO! GIRLS DON'T GO FOR THAT! If they did, i would have a girlfriend!

Girls want dysfunctional! They want LOSERS!

So this is my plan.

I'm gonna fail hard at life. I am fail even harder than Satou kun. And then my Nakahara Misaki will come. I know i can do it. I'm failing pretty hard as it is nowadays. I'm already partially a Hikikomori. I can do this. I have the drive. The willpower.



～ ～ ﾊ,,,ﾊ
　　　(,,･ω･)
～ 　｡(_ ﾟTﾟ
.　　 　ﾟ￣ﾟ

HA HA HA ITS A CAT ON A SCOOTER.

PARASITES!!!!

PARA-PARA-PARASITES!

They are real, yano. Parasites.
They can climb up your butthole and crawl onto your brain, and control you.
And make you commit suicide by jumping into a large body of water, and drowning yourself.
If that's the case, i know a few people who i suspect of being parasite controlled.

In fact, i had a class outing with a couple just this week!
Man, i know 90% of people who read my blog are people who went on said class outing, but i shall talk about it anyway.

So we wanted to go to the zoo but as our luck would have it, it was raining. One parasite controlled human (I shall now refer to them as "paramans") insisted on going to the zoo, even in the rain. Perhaps she wanted to drown herself there. Iono. Anyway it was more of a paramonkey.

Anyhoo, because our plan was made of fail, we had to find an alternative. So we went to watch "The pursuit of Happyness" Which was a really good movie about chasing your dreams. The dry ones, anyway.

Oh? I missed out the most funny part of our trip? Funny for you guys, maybe! Anyway, i'm not gonna tell wut happened, but here are some of my explanations for the 45mt. output:

1)I lack follow-through
2)Terence the Parafaggot kept laughing and messed up my form
3)I'm shy in public :(
4)I wasn't putting my all into it
5)Parasites made me do it poorly!
6)16?! Goddammit seriously Daryl.. hoh boy. SERIOUSLY?! LOL


Anyway, i decided to take possibly the biggest hit to my ego (bruising my giant ego is pretty difficult) and turn it into a positive. I'm not going to divulge how yet, but it is gonna be awesome you guys :) Watch out for it!

Aw yeah, that was the best part of the week. For today, i spent most of my afternoon on my knees in my balcony, helping my Mom find and trap caterpillars. (parasites, but not as deadly as the brain-controlling ones) Why? Cos shes teaching some science classes, and she wanted to show caterpillars to some snot-nosed brats. So in the name of education i spent hours searching for green caterpillars amongst green leaves. It wasn't pretty.

Me: Mom, this is TAKING FOREVER! I'm bored! I'm hot! And i'm good looking! Handsome guys are above manual labour!
Mom: No leaving till you catch one!
Me (10mins later): I GOT ONE! *looks carefully* wait, there are 2 here!
Mom: That's great. Now help me find more.
Me: WHAT?! BUT YOU SAID I CAN LEAVE AFTER I FIND ONE!
Mom: I did say that. But you found two. It's like snakes and ladders. You find one, you can go. You find two, you have to start over.
Me: @#$!@#$!@%!!!!

I found 4 caterpillars today.

Anyway, I had multiple run ins with my mom. She keeps making me do housework.

Mom (Brings the vacuum cleaner to me while i'm watching TV): Kuanyi, meet Vacuum cleaner. Vacuum cleaner, meet Kuanyi.
Me: Yes... we've met.


Mom:Kuanyi, come help me hang out the laundry.
Me: OK.
Me: Wait-! Why am i doing this all by myself! You said you were gonna help me!
Mom: No.
Me: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: No, not really.
Me: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIIIIEEEENDSSS

It's hard being at home all day with no school, job and no obligations :(


Will write moar!

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

This picture is so related. It's about animals, and friends.
Perfect, because this post is sorta like a FAQ regarding the E6 class outing.


Why the zoo?! zomgwtfbbqs

Because me, zhi wei, coicoi, yl and dy had an msn mass convo to decide where go to. After talking cock for 2 hours, and getting alittle high, we decided on the zoo. The zoo is a fun place, if you can ignore the fact that it smells like crap.

Why should i go i haet all animeers zoo too hot lol
Because this is probably the last class outing we're gonna have. Guys going NS, girls going to work, coicoi getting deported to whichever goddamn place he drifted here from (no not rly). We spent 3 years together, let's have one last fun day :D

Your jedi mine treeks work on me i want to go. What to breeng? What to waer? How much? When?

What to bring:

Go back to primary school, go find the parent's permission slip, go see the things u need to bring printed on the back. These include:

Water bottle
Lame baseball cap (attachable doraemon propellor optional)
Money
Camera (if you have one)
Plaster/band-aid for when Terence hurts himself
E6 spirit! Distaste and hatred for all other classes also optional

What to wear:
T-shirt
Primary school PE shorts
Comfortable shoes for walking in (the zoo track is many many kilometers)

Price:
Zoo entry fee is $15, but i am trying to contact Mr.Liaw to give us our yearly $4, which will make it $11. But bring $$ for lunch. And possibly dinner.

When:
Thursday, 1st March (yeah i know i smsed wrong)
time not conspermed
Meeting place not conspermed

Any questions? Just ask me! >:3 Hope to see you guys thar! >:3

5000

Wha- ...uh, hey! You caught me off guard, suddenly appearing at my blog like this! I'm not equipped to deal with these kinda heart attacks!

Remember how i used to say "I may be poor in pocket, but i'm rich in fags friends?" Well now i'm rich in pocket, and rich in freaks friends! CNY haul this year was pretty good. Now i am 1 step closer to getting the money i need to uhh, buy those homeless kids some food. What? Homeless people need homes, not food? What do i look like to you, Gandhi?!

Anyway, i'm in a pretty good mood if you can't tell, because today is a special day. I mean, even though i spent 4 hours visiting people today, with my 7-year old cousin who asks me every 10 minutes WHY i'm 21 but still don't have a girlfriend, even though my sisters do! And even though when i returned home i found my Mom telling all my relatives how i whine to her about how LONELY and girlfriend-less i am. I mean, yeah, i'm ok. I'm unfazable. Even though i have spent the last 3 days trying, and trying, and TRYING to defeat that uber gay strong version of myself in Area 51 of God Hand but to no avail, not even coming close to whittling away 1/3 of his hp, i'm ok. No biggie. I am a rock. I am a fuckin' island.

Anyway, why am i in such a good mood! I could think of oh, reasons why. is a really great number, huh. .

For those morons out there, yes! My blog got hits! I think i started last April, so it's been what, 10 months? That's awesome, man. Thank you all for always reading my blog. Thanks to my cousin who cleverly helped save me from my mother's embarassing stories by telling my mom that she thinks my blog is funny. Thanks to me, who constantly refreshed my page 5 times today to get a screenie of number hit. Thanks for reading it when bored at FYP. When bored at IAP. When you need a laugh. When you need inspiration. When you feel the world is bullshitting you. When you feel you are always getting the short end of the stick, so you come to my blog to go "Oh, okay. Kuanyi's stick is even shorter."

!!!!!!!!

Dragon kick your ass into the milky way

Now this is a story all about how
My house got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit back, men,
I'll tell you how I became the Prince of the dolls of Rozen.

In West Akihabara, born and raised,
In my bedroom was where I spent most of my days,
Surfing the Internet, fappin' all cool,
And having "traumatic events" to stay home from school,
When a little red doll with a pout on her face
Started giving orders like she owned the place.
She got in one little fight and put a rose ring on me;
She said "You're gonna be my servant now, so bring me some tea."

A few more dolls came and one should've been shot.
Her eyes were different colors and she said "desu" a lot;
If anything I could say that this doll was weird,
But I thought "Nah, forget it. Yo homes to N-Field!"

I turned on the TV about 7 or 8, and I yelled to the girls
"Yo homes, Kun-kun's on!"

I counted my harem; it was going on ten,
With my sis, the neighbor girl, and the dolls of Rozen.



Who wrote that poem i don't know! But whoever it is, he/she is a genius. In case you don't know, it's referencing to the anime Rozen Maiden, and parodying the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" opening theme. Probably the only person who will get this is coicoi. He's the only person i know whos watched Rozen Maiden, and most probably fresh prince. I just posted this here cos i thought it was funny ;_;


Anyway, today i went back to playing godhand. In case you don't know, GOD HAND is THE BEST GAME OF 2006. FFXII sucked. All those GTA games were nothing to write home about. But GOD HAND is the biggest pwnage game i've ever played. The music is awesome, the fighting is stupendous, the cutscenes are orgasmic, my defense is impregnable, and my style is impetuous.

Since i have nothing better to do, i'll post the youtube of the ending credits here. The most BADASS ending credits ever. If it's too much i'll grovel at your feet, i beg for mercy when i feel the heat.


With that i end this short post. I'm just taking a break from God Hand, i just completed the game for the 3rd time in a single day. I'm trying to do some extra missions now, i completed all except area 51, the last one, which is so gay hard. You fight yourself, but much gayer, cos hes much gayer strong, and gayer fast, and gayer unlimited power ups. So gay.

When i defeat him i can view all cutscenes, and it will be the single greatest achievement of my life.

*hero victory pose*

Who scared who? Turtle vs Hammer

I was gonna put a really funny picture here, but then i realised i don't like any of you. So here's one of my sketches.


I should name this guy... just need to think of a name. Been doing alot of research on fight poses, reading alot of action mangas (Even tho it pains me so) And i kinda decided i wanna give him a sorta boxing/street brawling kinda fighting style :D Cos those are the coolest to draw and have the most impactful punches!

Anyhoo! What a week! While going to help yl get "stuff" (Manly "stuff", not tampons) we accidentally stumbled upon a subway branch.

At 230.

On Wednesday.

Any subway fan will know 3:00 on last Wednesday was their 10 cent sandwich offer thingy. Of course i knew, but i forgot. So you can imagine my joy and justifiably cocky behavior when we discovered we were gonna have to pay 10cents for lunch :D What's more, we paid with two 5 cent coins! bwahahaha!!!!!! I wanted to pay with a 50-dollar note, but i didnt have one on me.

Oh! And today i had an awesome presentation. The people we presented to said i presented good. And so was our project bwaaarrrh! We are so awesome. I'm gonna miss hangin' out with my SBM and SEG fwens. I mean, we made the perfect team. We had the "hardworking business student", the "gung ho foreign student", the "silent approver", and of course me, the "full of crap but somewhat charismatic retard". I sometimes wonder how i get away with half the shit i do. Maybe it's the way i pretend to be retarded, and people treat me as such :D The foreign student treated me to a sundae, which i gladly accepted :D

I'm really spamming the :D:D:D's today! Anyway, i'm sick of writing about my life. Next post is gonna go back to my usual routine of random crap you all love. Pwomise! Cross my heart, hope to die, hope my carcass gets torn apart by rabid rats who chew on my entrails.

Ugh. I nearly threw up reading my own description. HOW GREAT A WRITER AM I?!?!?!

SPAARTAANS!!!

I need a nickname.

A real nickname, not like, Twang "Retarded faggot" Kuanyi.

Everyone calls me the retarded faggot. I don't see why.

Nothing about me says "retard", or "faggot".

Maybe that's why i don't have a girlfriend. I need a masculine nickname.

Like, the K-dawg, the K-dozer, Kuantization.

Or maybe, Kuanyi-Sharky.

These are just some suggestions for the nicknames you guys can give me. Of course, i'm willing to bend over backwards and accept "KUANYI, LORD OF THE UNIVERSE, CREATOR OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND FATHER TO US ALL."

Anyway sorry if i'm spazzin' out. See, i just watched an episode of Phua Chu Kang ("OH WELL THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING," exclaimed the crowd in unison) which effectively lowered my IQ by 10 points. I can explain my behavior. You see, i am an alcoholic ("OH..")Sometimes, the alcohol makes me do or say things i wouldn't normally do. Like just yesterday, i got drunk on cheeky cherryade (Any alchoholic's drink of choice) and i shoved some kid into an amplifier at a Metallica concert.

Aside from me watching PCK (uggh) today, nothing of any interest occured today. I miss school. I miss spazzin' out there. Sometimes i think of the good times we had together, and i look in my "Fwens 4ever" scrapbook, and i cry, then i get a kleenex, then i grunt, moan alittle, and gasp, and then get another kleenex. But the good days are going to be over soon. Soon, i will be scrubbing toilets or the like in the army. Sometime soon, i'll be thanking the crapper fairies that today's shitters were kind enough to not crap in the showers. That'll be my special daily treat!

Today while on a pilgrimage to the mini-mart, i saw 3 kids playing by the pool. 1 malay, 1 chinese, 1 indian. All around the same age. First, the indian boy pushed the chinese boy into the pool. He wasn't much bigger or stronger, in fact the indian boy was the skinniest of the bunch, but the chinese boy went in anyway. Then the malay boy got pushed in again by the indian boy. By now, the chinese boy had managed to get out of the pool, and proceeded to laugh at the malay boy. Then the indian boy turned on the chinese boy again. The chinese boy looked scared and said "But you already pushed me in.." But the indian boy was relentless, he pushed the chinese boy in anyway.

Some of you, may just see some kids playing.

I see, just some kids playing.

The boy from IMH

Today was a pretty awesome day! Somehow. Alittle surreal, but in a cool way yea? :D

Happy Birthday Coicoi! You are now one year older, Peter Pan. You may grow up someday, but i doubt it.

Congrats on getting the MediaCock-uhh, MediaCorp job Nicolette! Wait, why am i writing this here?! She doesnt even read my blog. Wait i think she used to. Ah who cares.


So yeah. I went to IMH today.
Well actually i only made it there on my second try. Which only adds to the fact that i should become a permanent resident.

It's a long story. I went to IMH once when i was a kid, and for NS purposes i had to go again today to have a check up. So i asked my mom and dad "mommy daddy where is IMH?" and they said it's at SGH. So my dad gave me a lift there, rollin', patrollin' etc. He was going for some meeting or sumwhat after, so he just left me there and sped off.

So i spent a good 10mins walking around, all lost and shit. Then i went to the receptionist and asked "Where is IMH?"

That is already one of the most embarassing things you can ask someone. I mean, seriously. Imagine going up to a stranger and asking where IMH is. But she was all like "har? har?!" So i had to say it louder. And elaborate. "Institute of Mental Health?" Then the lady was like "OHHHH wrong. Not here. Hougang there."

Not unlike Lelouch, i immediately came up with 14 different swear words in my head that wouldve fit the moment.

So i took a cab all the way to hougang (aka cuckoo town) and had my IMH checkup.

In case you are all wondering, no i'm not crazy (not from a medical standpoint, anyway) I just sleepwalk. Which is OBVIOUSLY (*wild waving of hands*) , SO OBVIOUSLY A HAZARD IN NATIONAL SERVICE, WHERE I AM PRACTICALLY SURROUNDED BY GUNS, GRENADES AND WHATNOT.

So the psychologist asked me all the regular questions... when did it start, how often do i sleepwalk a week, my medical background etc etc. pretty normal stuff. Until he asked if i had a girlfriend/boyfriend. Then i was like WHOOA HOLD THE PHONE THERE, ARNOLD MC.TWENTYQUESTIONS. I'm not that kinda guy. But he did the anal probe test on me anyway. No not really. But he did ask if i was gay.

After that i went to school to hang out with my best friend, Lonely Mc.Lonely. And we shared a chicken rice meal. And we watched 1/2 of Bruce Almighty before going for java night class.

Aaaand here i am.

Waaitamiinute...

This isn't my house!

And that isn't my- wait, wait i used this one before.

Oh i forgot to add, as usual when i got home and told my parents that they dropped me off in the total wrong place they totally blamed me and refused to acknowledge that even 1% of it is their fault! Typical! *punches the wall in frustration*

*apologises to the wall, buys it flowers and writes it a get well soon card*

Post 69

Promo Picture for Suga Shikao,
for his single Mananatsu no yoru no yume for the Death Note movie



Wow... 69 posts already! Of course, 69 is a wonderful number. Hence post 69 will be a wonderful post.


BUT THEN AGAIN, I TEND TO EXCEED EXPECTATIONS!! Yes, im a cheap bastard, splitting a post into 2 posts, because i want people to be all like "haha oh wow kuanyi posted twice lawlz". Whatever! Maybe i felt that what i'm gonna write about here is not related enough to the previous post to be worth anything. Or maybe i'm 696969696969!!!!!

I'm here to share a cool site i found. Veoh Why is it cool? Because it has suga shikao PVs, which Youtube does not offer. Because it lets you save big PVs to your computer, and watch over and over, without having to worry if "Gogo no parade" which you watched on youtube the day before isn't gonna be there today. Because it has a nifty player, which allows you to store and keep tabs on all the videos you watched.

Boo to gaytube!

Anyway, yes. Suga Shikao. What a hunka hunka burnin' love. That's his music video in the sharkie's mouth. If you have to watch one music video in your life, let that be it. He is so freakin awesome i can't even make fun of his pink shirt. If i could hire 30 extras for a day, that is what i would do with them. (P.S: i can dance like the guy in 3:07mins)

Anywachahooza, the song, Gogo no Parade (Afternoon Parade) is super duper awesome. Since there are no translations online, i shall do a quick chorus translation!~

kitto asu wa kimi no machi e
PARE-DO ga  hora  yatte kuru
mune odoru RIZUMU ni notte
natsu wa mada owaranai

The parade will definitely come to your town tomorrow
Get your heart dancing to the rhythmn
Summer is still not over

I know! i know! im freakin' badass! I'm hardcore! No! No laughing in hardcore! Nono!

Hence this ends post number 6969696969!!!! Hope the parade comes to my house tomorrow. Hope prom looks half that badass.

acronymn fun

Not brave enough to brave the horror that is 4chan today, so you guys will have to make do with a cool devart i saw. His artist's comment is pretty hilarious, even by my standards.


KUANYI is an amazing acronym actually!

Kuanyi
Urinates
Across
Nine
Yard
Igloos

I work out alot.

Anyhoozawachaa, it was a pretty awesome possum week. Aside from the usual bastardry, and faggotry, and general dicking around, lotsa cool stuff happened. How's the view from up there, Tom?

Well Jeffrey i have to say even from the safety of my helicopter, Kuanyi looks pretty freaking badass. I just ran a check on his badass-ness this week with my speedometer, and he's doing around 2000km/h. I shall now seemingly fade away and never exist/be spoken of again, Jeffrey, as well as you, because Kuanyi is sick of blogging using his split personalities.

So yea. It was open house week, which was pretty fun. Me and coicoi helped out at the SJCC booth, because cutting classes is sweet and makes us look like rebels. They had a drawing board, so me and coicoi filled it up good. I got caught up in the moment and shouted YEAH TAKE IT ALL to the board, no not really but i like alittle drama now and then. Alot of girls (and some guys, but who gives a shit about them) passed by and said my drawings/my face were cute. EGO+10.

Went out with Grace and coicoi just now. We played 'Teen Photohunt' at the arcade. No, that's not a game where you go snapping candid peep shots of teen girls. It's like photohunt, but for teens. I think teens are retarded then, because we totally pwned the game. Altho inbetween the disturbingly easy rounds we would clap for ourselves and act pro. 3 girls stopped to stare but frankly, m'dear, i don't give 2 rat shits what they think.

Well that's all for now. Might blog again whenever i feel like it. Might be tomorrow... next week.. iono.

A reason to commit genocide

I ran out of dramatic ways to say "What's up ya buncha sap suckin' faggots!"
Actually, that wasn't half bad.

Anyhoo, i'm seriously totally extremely pissed. Super saiyan.. dare i say it? Yes! close to Super Saiyan level 3 pissed!!
Blogger crashed on me 2 times out of the last 2 times i tried to blog. I uploaded pictures, wrote lenghty paragraphs, did everything. then my intarwebs went haywire. We shall discuss the origin of the lame word haywire some other time. I'm too freeeeaaakin pissed to ever try to talk about the exploding ketchup incident. Come ask me about it on MSN. i will paint a vision of disgust into your eyes, and show you pictures which will make your hair stand on end everytime you look at a tomato.

Coicoi, i was seriously gonna give you your geeky fanbook. But then! All of a sudden, i realised i didn't have one. How sad for you.

Felicia, i finished a project for you. The grand opening of your 5 star hotel is scheduled to be anytime..............

..........................................................

............................

........aaaaaaany seeecond nooooww....

.....

Okay fuck that, i am not a patient man!

Anyhoo, i've decided to leave that all behind me. Start afresh. Seeing as how blogger seems to be deadset against me ever publishing those posts. It's a conspiracy i tell ya. Makes me wanna... go... sup-sup-supERRRR SAAAAIIYAAAN

Back to the usual routine i go! I choose a random topic, i rant about it, cry later when i realise that my writing abilities are equivalent to one who has surpassed God!

Today i saw alot of stressed faces. Alot of scared looking people. Cant blame em. Common tests, and everythin' is comin' up. But yet, when i look at myself, i wonder why i don't ever seem to get stressed. I mean, today i had a presentation on a project i didnt even do myself and i was dancing around in the hallways! (coicoi can testify to that.)

If i had to be frank and tell you, i'd say i think the reason probably stems from my giant ego. But my name isn't Frank. But i shall tell you the reason probably stems from my giant ego. Capische? Some of you are probably even more confused, now that i threw some latin (LATINO HEEAT) into the mix. But whatever. Theory time!

I think i am so awesome, so godlike, and such a gift to humanity i dont feel the need to study. But of course, my ego always exceeds my actual abilities. You're probably wondering "If you knew that, then why aren't you doing anything about it?!" Well the answer is clear. Because i am so awesome, and so godlike, and such a gift to humanity i don't feel the need to stop myself.

But yano, ego can be good for you too! I mean, i know some people who could use some. Ego is a driving force. I'm totally serial! Or cereal. Mmm.... froot loops.

I wonder what i would be like if i didnt have my giant ego sometimes. But i always wake up in a cold sweat shouting for Betty to come and ween me. (Betty is our cow.) I like my ego! It makes me the victor!!! Even though, yes, you saw this coming, my name isn't Victor.

.....

.................
.......


.................. Any second now, Felicia!

Back, with twice as much facial hair

You guys can't even go 2 weeks without me blogging! Fuckin' pussies! Kiddin. It's nice to be missed. It's like how i relentlessly tortured ants as a child. Okay fine it's not.

Let's not get all emotional, i promised myself i wouldn't cry on this very special day.

*sniff* oh Goooad.... *sniff*

Nono! No tears! We don't cry in hardcore.

Kay, so official stuff. My epic ketchup story is going to have to wait. So is my promised "Make a wish come true or maybe possibly not because im a jackass" foundation wishmaking for coicoi and sexy. I was going to do all that stuff, but then i received a phonecall. It was from some guy named "Life" who i have never heard from before, telling me i have an engagement with him. Wait. Why is the human personification of Life a dude in my fantasy? It should be a chick. With hot boobs.

So instead today a normal post will have to satiate your hunger for my 1337 writing skillz.

REP -REP-REP-REPRESENT!

aIGHT, so what's new? I got a buttload of PS2 games! Which is arguably the reason why i haven't been blogging. Can you blame me? My style is impetuous! And my defence is impregnable! Maybe someday i will explain what that means. But not today. Nono. We don't reveal inside jokes in hardcore, nono!

Since i have nothing else to write about, let's write about Terence. He always seems to mention me in his blog. Why? I don't know. But i enjoy reading his blog. Why? Because he uses paragraphing. A few of you could do with some paragraphing. For puck's sake, all you have to do is press the enter key twice after a coupla sentences and it makes your blog infinite times easier to read. Also, i like his one-man pep rallies, his one-man cheerleader squad thing were he goes "YEEEAAAH WE ARE THE GREATEST TEAM EVARRR". And then he ventures forth to compete against secondary school kids and serve them. Or get served. Can you imagine a sec school lian telling you "eUU jUz g0tCh sErVed dE wOrx~"?! My deepest sympathies to your loss terence.

What don't i like about his blog? What's not to like?! I'm mentioned in nearly every post! Any blog with my name in it = INSTANT WIN.

Check out terence's blog from my sidebar. You won't regret it. Unless....!! No, no you won't regret it. I'm mentioned in his blog. His blog is win. HIS BLOG IS PURE WIN, BECAUSE I AM PURE WIN.

Kuanyi out!

Hola espanols

Was gonna use this picture for Christmas, but oh wellos :P



You will click here to take our Online Survey.

And then you will get me a cheeseburger.

And then, you will quietly go to the elephant graveyard and die.

Or burst into song with grey hyenas.

Hey! No seriously, help me out with my survey. It's for my school project, and it's REALLY IMPORTANT. SEE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS? I'M LEAVING MY CAPS LOCK ON CRUISE CONTROLLL.

Uh oh. I forgot what i was gonna write when i stopped typing to bopp to the beat of a song. It probably wasn't even a mind-blowing statement anyhoo. My most coherent thought today was "I smell like eggs." I do smell like eggs, i had to fry like 5 for my nutritious dinner. Whoopee doo.

Oh right! I was gonna say, i can't blog about my life changing experience with the exploding ketchup bottle, cuz ma sister hid the camera with the pictures we took of said incident, and as they all say, NPNT. No peekture, no tits. Kidding. No Picture No Talk. So i shant talk. ziiiiiiiip.

Oh right! The second thing i was gonna say! I was gonna say, I'm not a stingy man. Since it's still somewhat Christmas (12 days, ha ha) If you do my special survey, I'll return the favor! It's my Kuanyi's Make a Wish Come True, Or Crush it, Foundation! Everyday i help people realise the wishes and dreams they were always too afraid or too big a loser to do themselves. For example! I made Dionne's wish come true last week. It was her dream to get mentioned in my blog! Congratulations Dionne! Wow, huh, guess i just mentioned you again. Now you owe me.

So just tag me saying you've done my survey (I will know if you are lying. Don't ask how. I will.) and ask for ANYTHING! A balloon ride, your own private terracotta army, or the genocide of an entire species of insects... ANYTHINNNG!!! Of course, if it's impossible for me, i'll just point the middle finger at you and tell ya to FUCKOFF!!!!!! (P.S: None of the above are impossible for me)

That's all for now. I have to go and paste the link to the survey to all my MSN contacts. Whoopee. I should probably shower first.

The Christmas Post

*Puts on santa hat*
Merry Christmas wankers! Hohoho, seeing as how only 20/180 of my MSN contacts are online, i'm guessing i'm one of the roughly 17% of the losers who have no life and have to spend a very lonely christmas writing in their blogs. I would write in my Poly Pocket journal that i have wanted since i was 7, but i don't have one. I also did not receive the masculine moustache i requested from Santa, or any other present for that matter. Here is a tally of my Christmas haul:

2 Christmas cards from Dionne and Zhan Sheng
Roughly 4 smses wishing me a Merry Christmas


Sadly, 2 of the 4 christmas SMSes were from project group members i met in technopreneurship, and they were chain letters. but SMSes none the less! When you are as little blessed as i am, you appreciate justabout everythin. :)

Well i spent my xmas eve watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. Admittedly, i fell asleep for about 30mins of it, but it was really cool! I think a chinese adaptation should be made. We can call it 'The 7th Month Before Chinese New Year" and it'll be really cool. Dancing chinese hopping zombies and firecrackers make for epic movies.

If it is live action, Yao Ming would make a good chinese Jack Skellington :P

Well i'm fresh out of boring stories for now. Next post is gonna be epic. How epic? Exploding ketchup bottles in my kitchen epic. It was hell to clean, but it was worth it. I shall now leave you with a quote i got from a book i read.

*pulls out trouser pockets*

Ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

Required field must not be blank

HOYATOYA MOMMA!

I think i am the first person in blogger history to begin a post with "HOYATOYA MOMMA!"

Making ME the victor.

Although my name isn't victor.It's Kuanyi.

Anyway, what is HOYATOYA MOMMA?!

It's my new WHATCHAAA!!!!

In a Spiderman comic Spidey reminisces about how awesome and hot the Black Cat was.

And he goes "HOYATOYA MOMMA"!!!

I assume it means "WOW that shit is hot"

But i really don't know.

My name isn't really victor.

Anyway, as some of you know, i've been having bad coughing attacks for about 10 days. I cough till my tummy hurts. You ever get that? Like you can actually feel your muscles aching. Another 2 days of this coughing spree and i'll have a six pack. Unfortunately, my mom forced my to go to the doctor to get a lookie upper. Which means no more coughing, which means no more six pack. Doesnt my mom care about my physical well being?! What kinda monster is she?! And she wanted to spit on some dude's car for fun while we were at the doctors. I have a killer mom.

Oh right! the mandatory 3rd paragraph! Thank you Dionne, i got your christmas card today. Unfortunately i didnt get to read much of the card, by the time i got to the word "pokemon" i had burst into tears, which smudged the ink. Kiddin'. It was really cool! Gimme your address, so i can stalk your house, fall from a tree branch, but instead of me getting hurt my future kid gets hurt which creates a time paradox which he has to fix with the help of a mad scientist with a time machine car.Sorry, i spent all day watching old Back to the Future DVDs. YOU CHICKEN MCFLY?!Kay thats all for today. Will write (type?) more whenever the hell i feel like it.PEACE OUT

[Space filler for when i come up with a good title]

I probably never will.
Come up with a good title for this post, that is.
That's because today's post is gonna be looooong.
Long post is looong.

So many things i need to say, so many feelings i wanna convey.
You hurrrt me bad girl.
Naw im kidding, no girl hurt me bad. Just felt like i was having a boyband moment with the first line.
I can feel that this post is gonna be stuuupid.
Stupid post is stuuuuupid.


Anyhoo, sorry for the delay in posting. I would say "i have a social life" but we all know that's not true and therefore not a legitimate reason for not posting. So i shall put forward the less speculative reason "I got chased by bees and had to stay submerged in a swimming pool for 2 weeks, breathing in and out of a straw."

Also apologising if my post is somewhat dry. I feel kinda crappy right now, i just got back from church and the pastor is a total poofter. What a poofter is is irrelevant right now, what is is that he was soooo out of point. I mean, one moment he was talking about commitment and God and the next he was telling us about his Wing Chun style Martial Arts descendancy, and how his great grandmother once sent 9 guys flying with a flying kick. That was one sermon i would've rather slept through.

So firstly, i would like to proudly announce that Playworks/Logitech Singapore are pussy companies. Remember like last year i took part in that design competition i got 4th place in because they were retarded? Here's alittle reminder.



So yeah, apparently the little bastards went and printed out my design and sold it to people. Or something. Because my cousin said she saw someone using it the other day. I'm cool with it, because it's cool when people like my stuff, but why aren't i getting anything? Wankers.
Wanking Company is waaaaanking.


2nd thing i wanna rant about is my Aunt. She went and asked my Dad if i was GAY. And she was like telling him to "check". How do you check if someone is gay, get a guy to give him a kiss and see if he likes it? Lawd. Anyhoo, I'm straighter than she'll ever be. She used to be like, a stewardess. She's prolly had her fair share of "crazy nights lezzing out."

You know, i felt so good about who i was. I like my scrawny build. I like my stupid eyebags. I like the way i dance. I like my speech pattern, and my sense of humor, and also my nature. More than like, i love everything about myself. But then she totally shook my foundation with that comment. When i look at myself, i see a confident funny person. When she looks at me, she probably sees a skinny zombie who dances gay, speaks gay, and acts gay. Why i have no idea. Maybe it's because i have never had a girlfriend. What's wrong with being picky and not going on like, girlfriend hopping sprees and breaking hearts along the way? I just don't get her.

Maybe it's no one who gets me.

Uh oh

Here it comes

uh uh UHHHHH


CRAAAAWWWLING IIIIN MY SKKIIIIIIN
THEEESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEEAAAAL!!!