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Rahim: "Zhan Sheng, can you give me an example of a chinese proverb?"
Zhan Sheng:"WHAT PERVERT?! YOU THAN PERVERT LAH!"
I nearly split my groin in 2 laughing.
Anyway, Happy Halloween everyone!
A great occasion, where kids are allowed to go out in the dark and take candy from strangers.
Sounds like a pedophile's dream come true, actually.
TOPIC CHANGE!
Today i helped dionne out with her class project or somethin. I was supposed to be like, some movie reviewer, and i had to talk about the movie death note, which i have fortunately already seen. I was abit worried about what to say and stuff, but somehow when they put the microphone in my face and the camera before me the good ol' kuanyi verbal diaohrrea kicked in. I stammered abit and i screwed up at some parts, but i think i did ok. Dionne, if you are reading this, you owe me big time. If i had to say how big, and how time, i would say "universally eternally."
That's all for now, i have to go beat up the Trick or Treatin' Kids i caught and locked in my basement.
Yeeeaaah bwiiiing!!! Time to dig in the old [../Kuanyi/Pics] folder for a lame picture.
lesse...
THERE YA GO!
Okay now down to business. Yesterday while walking home, i asked my friends a pretty simple question:
Me: "Guys, do you think that, if i died now, i could go to heaven?"
(1 second later)
You Loon: "No."
Godwin: "No."
Zhan Sheng: "No."
What shocked me most was the speed of their replies! T__T
Am i really such an evil person? What evil have i committed?!
I do alot of good things too. Like... that time i...
guhh...
Okay whatever.
And why does everyone think i look like L from Death Note?! I don't ok. Everyone came out of the theatre and said i look like L, cept im retarded, blah blah.
Then Grace smsed me saying i look like L.
WTF I DONT OK!!!! Just cos i got eyebags you guys pick on me ='(
I'm bitching about what a crappy day i had yesterday, but honestly, it was really fun hanging out together like tt, catching the movie and stuff.
I miss our old class. We did all kinds of crazy shit. Like how on the first day of school we had lunch in the staff section of the foodcourt. Or how we always used to block peoples way around school. Or how we used to hump people drinking at water coolers.
Wait...
i could think of so many evil deeds but not even 1 good deed i have done?!
I really cant go to heaven... specially since i laughed at *that* picture... you guys know which 1 i'm talking about.
too late to repent ya think? O_o
Click to enlarge, to get the joke, to laugh at rabbits with no control over their bladders, etc.
Man oh man... I am posting and i don't even know what i'm gonna write about. Guess i'll have to wing it.
*thinks*
Alright. I've decided to talk 'bout suicide.
Today, some kid (disturbed teen, more likely) tried to commit suicide from the balcony of his 7th floor apartment which happens to be 6 floors below mine. His parents were like crying and shit, telling him to come down. Eventually the cops were called and he came down and yadda yadda.
Honestly, i was hoping he'd jump. I know saying that makes me a huge bastard, but just hear me out, ok?
This mellodrama kid climbs out to the balcony in an attempt to scare his parents, and because of his selfish stupidity the cops were called and everyone had to stop their lives just to attend to him for those few minutes.
If he really wanted to die, he wouldn't go "I'M GONNA JUMP, SO DON'T TRY TO STOP MEEE." He'd go quietly to his room, pull out a knife and gut himself.
Or he would go to his kitchen, turn on the stove and stick his face on it.
POSSIBILITIES FOR SELF OWNING are endless, but he wanted a flashy one. WHY?
Cos he prolly didn't wanna commit suicide.
Of course, i am attention seeking just like that kid, just not as disturbed. And i might've told some of you this before, but if i ever want to take my own life, i want it to be flashy, and funny, and scare the living hell out of someone and scar them mentally for life.
Like jumping off the top floor of orchard cineleisure with blood donor packets tied to my body for an extra bloody finale. I will carefully time my jump so that i will land right infront of the path of some kid and traumatise him with the fury of a million clowns.
Many extra examples, but i shall save you all the agony of listening to my overly thought out and flashy exits.
Hm. Pretty long post for just winging it, eh? ;)
How do you know you are passionate about something?
When you face blatant failure/rejection but the thought of quitting never crosses your mind.
Even more so when you feel excited about losing, because you know you are gonna bounce back, stronger than ever.
So strong that when people ask you "Why do you keep trying the same thing" You will laugh at them and shout "BECAUSE IT WORKS, RETARD!!"
So yeah, i didn't get into the top 3 in the Mangaka competition. The winners deserved to win, even tho they are like way older than me. When i went home, i was abit depressed. Who wouldn't be? But after a coupla hours, i felt totally normal. Because i love art. I love drawing. And someday i'm going to become so good at it it'll rock everyone's socks off.
So i had a bath, watched like 10 episodes of Konjiki no Gash Bell, then i picked up my pencil and drew. And omg, it felt good. I would say "It felt even better than sex" but i've never had sex, so i guess... it felt better than pleasuring myself.
OH HE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!!!
So yea, everyone readin this, i hope you can all find something to be passionate about. So, Ter has dancing and HOTMALE and the others have guitar. Coicoi has drawing too of course. I'm just sayin'. Pick a hobby you will love. It's better than sex. Or pleasuring yourself.
That's it! I, Kuanyi, Creator of all within the void, have grown bored of the stupidity of you and your brethren. How dearly you all cling on to the fabricated lies that are your lives, and desperately swim against the current that is death. REJOICE, i shall put you all out of your miseries!
NUUUOOOOH....!!!! *Insert majestic sequence of me gathering a huge amount of energy, with crumbling earth beneath my feet*
I have cast INSTANT 1 HIT KO DEATH upon you all! You will all die, between the periods of now and in 80 years time. Don't bother trying to undo my spell: It is absolute. THERE IS NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME.
Okay sorry, just so bored. Alittle "God role play" pantomime always cheers me up.
Genocide and my God complex seem to be major themes in my blog. Maybe i should get a new "thing", like taking pictures of people getting wasted at parties or me humping people drinking at water coolers.
How about me humping wasted people at parties, proclaiming i am God before killing everyone in the room?
That would get me like, 10,000 hits man. A day. Making me AN HERO.
Then i can sell my blog for a coupla billion dollars.
Then i can buy mentos, walk backwards, etc.
WHY HOLIDAYS WHY?! WHY MUST YOU COME TO AN END?!?!?!11111
Why does time fly when you are having fun?
Why must all good things come to an end?
Because life is rigged, man.
THATS RIGHT! The Big Guy up there doesn't want us to be happy. I mean come on, every single cliche'd shitty phrase, they all promote melancholy and boredom.
And my brand new headphones just went *pop* in one ear. That's right, it's the rarely spoken of yet greatly feared buy-a-pair-of-headphones-and-make-them-go-pop-in-a-week problem. Shitty Sony. No not you PS2, no, no, shh.... i love you...
Okay back to topic. I have school tomorrow at 9am and my first class is with an asswipe teacher who gave me a fuckin' D on my final year project. Thanks to him i'm now sporting a GPA so bad I'm surprised that it doesn't come with a mandatory bowl hair cut. My friend said hes an ass in the classroom too, he teaches like a...a... im out of colorful comparisons, so i'm gonna go with, "He teaches like a bitch."
Plus, he knows me. Maybe you people who don't know me so well don't see the impact of how bad this is. A TEACHER, BEFORE HAVING TAUGHT ME IN A CLASSROOM, KNOWS ME.
Usually i have a head start, i get 3 weeks of "Benefit of the Doubt". Then they realise im a lazy bitch and they ride me so hard i have to go to the saddle shop.
NOW?!?!! i get NOTHING!!! ZIP NUDDA SQUAT ZERO ZILCH!
Aw hell. It's gonna be a rough 1st week.
Well, i could always walk backwards into my class when im late, so when the teacher turns around he will say "WHERE ARE YOU GOING? SIT DOWN!" Then i will sit next to a totally rockin' hot chick and offer her a mentos.
And then...
3 kids, 2 boys, and 1 girl... a house in the countryside... a secret bat cave where i keep the neighbors kids who i murder....
Awww.... im so embarassed to tel you all my dream... y'all makin' ma tiny heart go pitter patter!
FUCK OFF, IM GOING TO BED FAGS.
Mutha f**kin' haze man.
I TRY TO IGNORE IT BY STAYING INDOORS ALL DAY,
but my mom sent me on an errand.
Damn it's hazy out.
You know who's to blame for haze?
No it's not the Indonesians, or God, or Wind.
IT'S HITLER MAN. And all who oppose the world with free speech.
PSYCHE! Yeah, it's the Indonesians. Put the suitcase away kids, we don't have to move. Yet. It'll be years before the hitler robot is complete.
I would make a cheezy joke like "HAY DIDN'T THEIR MOMS EVER TELL THEM NOT TO PLAY WITH FIRE??" or "KNOCK KNOCK, WHOS THERE? FOREST FIRES." but seeing as how no one gives a shit about that stuff, lets address the more important issue at hand.
I DON'T LIKE HAZE. How much? Let me count the ways:
1)I can't see very well
2)It goes into my lungs and makes breathing difficult
3) It lowers my potency
4)Q: KNOCK KNOCK, WHOS THERE?
5)A: FOREST FIRES.
Wheres that fruity pedo Captain Planet when you need him? ='(
My last MSN convo:
- Kuanyikes [ ha ha, you f**kin fail, just get the f*** out] says:
hay
- tER. twisto under the iron sea says:
i permed my hair today
- tER. twisto under the iron sea says:
foil perm
- tER. twisto under the iron sea says:
oh my Gods
- Kuanyikes [ ha ha, you f**kin fail, just get the f*** out] says:
WTF
- tER. twisto under the iron sea says:
the explosion 1
- Kuanyikes [ ha ha, you f**kin fail, just get the f*** out] says:
all i said was hay
- tER. twisto under the iron sea says:
LOL
- Kuanyikes [ ha ha, you f**kin fail, just get the f*** out] says:
and i get this?!
- Kuanyikes [ ha ha, you f**kin fail, just get the f*** out] says:
THIS ISNT WHAT I FUCKING SIGNED UP FOR
- Kuanyikes [ ha ha, you f**kin fail, just get the f*** out] says:
IM OUTTA HERE FAG
Aaaaanndd.... i'm outta here fags.
Ssssssoooo yeeeaaaah.
Have you ever wondered if everyone in the entire world is false? That you are the only REAL human and you are God? And everyone around you was created by YOU?
Maybe not, you must be THIS egotistical to even consider it. (This egotistical being, as egotistical as me ;P ) Yeah anyway, thats the concept for the anime, The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya. A cute girl is god or the equivalent but she doesn't know it.
I was bored at home so i decided to download 2 gigs worth of anime i heard was exceptionally good. Well the works of Ito Noizi are always good in my book, so i got 'a downloading. I started the download yesterday at 10am, the download finished at 2pm, watched 1 ep.
Omg crappiest first episode of an anime i have ever seen. I didn't know if i was supposed to laugh or just stare like a retard. No prior character introduction, no names given, and the main character only appears at the end! (mikuru beam was cool tho)
So i took a break and power levelled on Disgaea 2 for awhile (level 250 now, tried but couldn't beat Laharl-sama T-T)
And this morning, (or yesterday morning i guess, it's past midnight now) i woke up at 9, turned on my PC ritually and subconciously clicked on the [A.F.K.]Haruhi Suzumiya (1-14) folder and watched episode 2.
Its midnight, i just watched every episode in the series. Granted there were only 14, and i stopped to power level in disgaea 2 again (damn you laharl) but yeah. It's that good.
I wish i could start my own anti-boredom club like Haruhi. We would go around with a video cam and do lame stuff all day. S.O.S brigade? hmm... how about K.O.K (kuanyi our king) brigade?
Well no one would wanna be in a club which has a name which is pronounced "cock."
OR WOULD THEY? ;P
So yeah. I got a call at 8pm last night congratulating me on being a finalist for the Mangaka 06 competition i recently entered. =D
After a strenous 10 minutes of power nerd dancing, it set in. A WINRAR IS ME!! I AM AN HERO!! Yeah. Well, possibly a winrar anyway.
Teh be a prize ceremony next next sat (14th Oct) Anyone wanna go? Naw it'll bore you guys to death anyways.
I guess its alright to post my finalistic entry here right? :D
Not feeling very verbal right now. Will write more next time. See y'all on the flip side!
