Fuck off, i'm famous

Hey, hey hey losers. Read and weep. I am now officially a celebrity.

I am now super awesome. Now whenever i make an appearance anywhere, the song 'Welcome to the jungle' now plays manually in your head.

You know how i always used to say "Even if i become famous i won't forget you guys cuz we are friends?" That was weak, loser unfamous Kuanyi. He is dead. RIP. Now strong, winner famous Kuanyi is telling you guys he don't need you no more. You can all get back on the next bus back to LOSERVILLE and keep leading your miserable lives of mediocrity.

Oops, thats my agent calling. He said i can afford to be a douchebag to everyone now, they'll still love me cos i'm a superstar. Catch you fags later.

Poem: The Loneliest Christmas

Christmas came and Christmas went,
but not a dollar from my pocket was spent.
In order to adhere to the gift-giving trend,
one would require a single friend.

No lights, no presents, no mistletoe,
no fun, no log cakes, and of course no snow.
Prepare to empty your tear ducts at the saddest tale,
of how bad Christmas sucked for the world's loneliest male.

At 930am i was stirred from my sleep,
and from the get-go i began to weep.
The only sms greetings i received,
were from lonely males like myself, almost as grieved.

I went back to sleep and slept past 4,
I slept till i simply couldn't sleep no more,
didn't wanna go out, didn't wanna party,
if anything else, the day was ordinary.

Passing the time playing dota and drawing,
time passed quickly doing the usual and boring.
As the clock struck midnight on my loneliest night,
I realised my life had reached the lowest height.
For how could i celebrate and cheer
when i knew this shit is gonna repeat itself next year?

SPIRIT OF LOSERS

The other day, i was asked to check webstats for the smirnoff website. Its a pretty snazzy site, i have to say. Its completely in flash, and way dope/pimp/supafly.

Anyhoo, i was looking at the requirements from the client and one of them was listed as needing "A list of page views to the SOC site". As i'd never worked on the site before, i was a little lost as to what SOC actually stood for. Smell Of Chicken? Size of Co-!! Nono. This post is family friendly.

So i went to the Smirnoff site and started navigating around. Clicking randomly, trying to find what SOC could possibly mean.

After roughly 10mins, i got bored of it so i went to my colleague, who sits behind me. I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her what the hell SOC stands for. She looked at me, looked at my monitor, then pointed at my screen. I turned around, and this is what i saw.




FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!! Nono. Family friendly.

Photoshop. Bored.

Today, a horrible revelation.

I met some primary school friends for lunch/cock talking. PRIMARY ONE friends, to be exact. Somehow someone put up a photo of us on phacebook and we kinda started finding each other again.

Anyway, i only remember 8/40 of my old classmates. Most of the 8 are only by face.

The sad thing is, there is one person in primary school i have never forgotten.

Her name is Yvonne. She was my classmate for only one year. Tall. Short hair. Tanned skin. I can even remember her exact face.

How is this?

Because roughly 14 years ago, When i was a wee lad, on my way home from school (it was a cloudy day) i walked past the school field.

There, standing around the gate, was Yvonne. She asked me if she could borrow 10 cents. Note that this was my last 10 cents in my pocket. She wanted to buy cheap 10-cent biscuits.

I was reluctant. But she promised to give me a small box of smarties the following day. Always an investor, i decided to lend her the last 10 cents i had.

However, to this day i have yet to see my investment return.

YES I KNOW I LOOK LIKE A HUGE DICK FOR BEARING A 14 YEAR GRUDGE COSTING 10 CENTS. BUT I REMEMBER THAT DAY, AND THAT PROMISE, LIKE IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY. IF I EVER SEE HER AGAIN, I WILL DEMAND MY SMARTIES.

So yeah, big revelation, i forgot almost all my classmates, but not the girl who owed owes me 10 cents. There is someting seriously messed up with me.

ORIGINAL CONTENT DO NOT STEAL!

http://www.youth.sg/content/view/6529/51/

When my ex-colleague asked if i would help her out by interviewing my all-time favorite local artist for an article, i thought i was getting Punk'd. I thought i would go down to AFA and expect to see Ashton Kutcher waiting to jump out at me, but he didn't.

Overall it was very fun meeting him. He was such a laid back guy, and he really took the time to talk to me, even though he was swarmed by fans, autographing their posters and stuff.

One day, i want to work for him. And paint the rainbows in the sky with him. In a purely non-homosexual way.


Btw, if you look at the bottom, you will see a short description about me.

"Kuanyi is a comic enthusiast whose love for Japanese and American comics/animations is surpassed only by his undying resolve to make everyone around him suffer."

They asked me for 1 or 2 sentences describing myself! What else could i say?!

Sookie know WALTZ!

Actually, its Tsuki no Waltz, or the Waltz of the Moon.

This is really a beautiful and touching song. And the animation is really good too.

However, in the youtube description it is described as "a japanese warbler and a beautiful love story"

And for some reason, i misread it as "a japanese wanker and a beautiful love story."

For some reason, after watching the video, i was disappointed.

I would have loved to have seen how a love story between a man and his hand could've worked out.

What a douche

This video is proof of everything that is wrong with the world.

Believe it or not, the guy who makes his opponents walk backwards of the edge of a cliff is the good guy.

I CANNOT WATCH THIS VIDEO WITHOUT LAUGHING.

I mean, seriously. Why would you kill someone so horribly and continue to taunt him while he is "walking his way into hell"? IN FRONT OF CHILDREN?!

Probably the most humorous part is that true fans of the series do not find this funny at all. I quote:

"Kenshiro is actually a master of Hokuto fists. This case was very specific because Amiba framed both Toki and the Hokuto Shin-ken itself. Also, Kenshiro is a devoted master of this art and like many martial arts masters, he knows the difference between true practicioners and fakes like Amiba. A well deserved death."

-shinobikurisu

I will have to rethink my views on capital punishment. I will also have to remember to be nicer to other people. Before i find myself walking backwards to my death.