WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!!!
Lulz, 2nd time doing this post because my internet went flat on me the moment i hit the 'publish' button on my last attempt. Coincidence? I think not. The only logical explanation is that this post contains the TRUTH BEHIND THE CONSPIRACIES, AND THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO STOP THIS FROM GETTING OUT!
Anyway, what is this big fascinating truth?
What is my big sweeping statement!
*drum roll*
*swiss roll*
MY NAME IS TWANG KUANYI, AND I AM A JACKASS!
....
.....lol wut.
Okay anyway this post is all about how big a jackass i am! Some of you forget the magnitude of my jackass-ness! Even when it is clearly listed on the Kuanyi trading card (also available in foil and hologram) that my nature is jackass, my elemental type is jackass, and to summon me you require 3 lesser jackass monsters as a sacrifice!
Anyway, the internet is a great place to be a jackass. Although you can't see the person actually getting pissed off in the flesh, you remain anonymous, and you are untouchable!
Take for instance, exhibit A, i like to call her Stacy. And i'd like to believe she is between the ages of 16-18.
Stacy is a regular user of www.sketchswap.com, a simple site with a simple premise. You draw a picture, you submit it, and somewhere around the world someone's picture is sent to you. Stacy worked hard on her picture. It was a cute picture. Here it is.
Stacy was proud of her hard work, and she pressed the submit button, eagerly awaiting the masterpiece she would get in return.
This is what stacy found.
Exhibit 2: #zinc nuisance
While waiting for dota games in #zinc, i enjoy lurking and watching teh n00bs having pointless arguments about gaming. But occasionally, a level of idiocy in the channel is reached, and i have to put the caps lock in cruise control, and emerge to put a stop to the faggotry.
Case 1: The case of the fake internet identity ( i didn't save the chat log for this one, but this is how it goes:)
Female #zinc admin (Name withheld): Do you guys think i'm cute?
Manwhore #1:Totally!
Manwhore #2: You are so cute ^_^
Me: WTF Oh PLEASE guys come on its so obvious "she" is a dude with a dick, no real girls on the internet!
At this point roughly 20 angry men turned on me, defending their gaming "goddess", as i sat in my chair, chugging an ice cold ice cream soda and enjoying many a lulz. Eventually they kicked me out of the channel and i enjoyed a 30min ban :)
Case 2: The BoA whore
So the host of this DotA game i was playing was being a total fanboy/whore.
[Name Withheld]: BoA is my idol!
Me: BoA is my wife!
2 seconds later i got kicked out of the DotA room. I was rofl'ing so hard, so i went to IRC to spam about what a retard the host was and to share my extremely funny story. Soon someone private msged me in the channel:
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! Seriously, what a retard. It's as if i insulted his mom or his girlfriend or something, and he gives this serious "BoA is mine" stalker vibe. Then he goes on to threathen to kill me. LOLOL. I was playing at noon on a sunday, so i bet it was some 12 year old who tricked his mom by saying he had a fever and wanted to skip school.
At any rate, thanks to all the people who kinda forced me to blog. I thought no human dared to desecrate my sacred grove, but i was wrong. And i am glad to be proven wrong :)
IM GONNA HAVE TO PRESS THE SUBMIT NOW, THE GOVERNMENT CAN'T SILENCE ME FOREV
You know, pretending i was assasinated mid post is fun and all, but i have a short P.S: Well done Val for trying your best at the audition! Im really proud of you! I will laugh at retards, and little girls who i like to imagine are named stacy, but i'll never laugh at anyone who is serious about their dream! Unless.. your dream is to be a comedian. Then you put me in an awkward situation.
Well okay that i guess concludes my P.S. Now where was i? Oh yes i wa
