Piss and crap aint half as gross when it's your own.

Well FRICK. My dad found a new way to torture me. You know those gross flying ants, yeah the ones who look just like ants, but with wings? Uh huh. They are appearing alot in my house nowadays. You know how those ants love light? Yeah. You know how computer monitors give off light? Uh huh. So my dad turned off all the lights in the house last night so when i was on the comp i got swarmed by little bitch ants slapping their pathetic selves into my face and eyes and everywhere. And he didnt let me turn the lights on. So i lost my temper (i was entirely right in doing so, i mean hes a huge sadist) and he didnt let me use the comp all of this afternoon. So i went to sleep. I dreamt there were 2 cats outside my window. Yeah, sounds normal, but it's not cos i live on the 13th floor. So i took them in. And then frick they turn into little girls and i wake up a pedophile.


Well before the mildly disturbing dream that questions my sexual preferences i went for a mothers day lunch with *GASP* my mom... oh and my grandma...It was one of those chinese restaurants which looks like some imperial palace.

We had this woman serving us and she had that chinese cheong sam top on, you know the one which makes any chinese automatically look like a wushu master? yeah. So my sister wanted more soya sauce and she wanted to go steal it from another table. So i said "Yeah, I'll cover you." Well there she went, humming the Mission Impossible theme like some super spy (no really she did) and i watched her... then i saw the wushu master looking at her... i kept quiet... Then the wushu master said "dont steal soya sauce" and there she was, with her hand holding the soya sauce holder thingy and everyone was staring at her and her face was like a pedo being caught in an episode of crime watch... I was laughing so hard.

And i have this little cousin who's like 6 and shes evil. Everyone in my life seems evil! So yeah she said she likes princesses and i told her im a princess. She didn't believe me. She asked my evil, evil Mom and my mom goes "yes hes a princess." i was like ALRIGHT MOM!!! Then she goes "But hes the ugliest princess ever." My grandma who barely speaks english laughed. And i said "BUT I AM HANDSUM?!?!" Then my Grandma said "Xiang de mei." which literally means dream a beautiful dream. Then my little sister goes to my cousin and says "hes an ugly princess from the garbage bin." Then my cousin goes "ooooo....so thats why he has so many pimples." Then i go to my sis all like "HEY" then she looks at me with a sadistic smile and said "you didn't cover me." WTF. Well anyway i got the last laugh. I proclaim proudly that there is a certain 6 year old in singapore who thinks ducks go "moomoo" and cows go "quack quack." >=)